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Disappoint(me)nt

by fancypants, July 7, 2011

Disappointment must be one of the hardest emotions to face. It doesn’t have the oomph of anger, it doesn’t come with the devastation of betrayal. It’s just a bad feeling in the heart and a bit of a kick in the gut. You can function with disappointment. It’s not debilitating. It doesn’t allow for heaving sobs or wails of agony. Nope. It’s more of a subtle emotion. Just a niggling little thought in the back of the head. Sometimes briefly forgotten, but often constantly reminded. Not nice really, disappointment. Kind of a disappointment all round. Funny, right?

Yesterday someone disappointed me. Some would think that I’d be devastated. Perhaps even shocked. Dismayed. Appalled. But no. I’m disappointed. Because it’s the same things, from the same person. And I’m disappointed that it will never change. And disappointed that it will never be different. And finally, disappointed in that person’s horrible manner with me and that they can’t give me the love and credit that I truly believe is due.

And so I sit, with a bad feeling in my heart, and a bit of a kick in the gut, and the constant reminder of just how disappointed I am.