I’m the last person in the world to be New Age. It’s just not my shtick. However, there is one sort of a little bit New Agey thing about me: I’m psychic. Yes, I know you think you read that wrong. But you didn’t. I’m psychic. There I said it. And you know what? We most probably all are to some extent. But my whole life I’ve always know when something was going to happen. I think of someone and instantaneously I get a text message from them. I was in Cape Town last year and I joked that I’d better put on some lipstick because I was going to see an old boyfriend, and then turned a corner and walked straight into him (granted there are a couple floating around Cape Town, but that’s besides the point). Mostly they’re silly things like ex boyfriends. For example, the other day we were desperately looking for some notes, and I insisted that my co-worker Jamie look through a set of files for a second time. She was almost at the end of the files, ready to give up, and I crossed the room, looked over her shoulder and at that instant she flipped a page and there the notes were. Why did I lean over just then? Coincidence. Absolutely possible. However, I’m actually a diagnosed psychic (is that they right term?). I had a very odd experience at a Chakra Massage (don’t even ask) a few years ago, where the therapist placed a stone on my main Chakra (forehead) and the bed vibrated and the stone fell off. When I told her at the end that is was pretty silly to vibrate a bed when a person had a whole bunch of stones on them, she told me that because I’m so psychic, my 3rd eye won’t tolerate anything on it. I tell you, when she left the room, I went all CIA and virtually pulled up the floorboards to find out how that bed vibrated. But I swear, it was a plain old massage table. And the whole experience, for someone who is wildly skeptical of these kinds of this, was pretty interesting. But I gotta admit, there might be something to it. Sometimes I just know the thing of the thing. Can’t explain it. And it’s probably the kookiest thing about me.
Not as kooky however, as the lady on Long Island Medium. I happened to watch it the other night. See what happens when you flip channels? There is an extraordinary woman (and I base that solely on her appearance) who chats with the dead. In fact she’s constantly surrounded by them, and apparently they’re pretty keen to contact their old mum who’s in the supermarket, and their daughter in the coffee shop and that poor woman who was just enjoying a nice Italian dinner. There isn’t a corner Theresa doesn’t turn without passing on a message from someone dearly departed. But you’ve just gotta wonder. Firstly, who the hell does her hair. And secondly, if there is an iota of truth in this. Most of the time I think she’s leading them on. But sometimes, just sometimes, she seems to have info that really is quite as astounding as her french mani.
Were you just about to call me? Let me put some lipstick on.