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New York from the back

by fancypants, March 28, 2012

We’re on Spring Break, so here are some of my old favorites! This one was from Nov 2011Desmond Tutu

A couple of days ago I had 5:27:54 to think about running a marathon while running a marathon. This was my second slowest marathon ever. My slowest was over two years ago, the last time I ran New York. I was ill and injured, and eternally grateful to my friend Heather who was waiting at the end to bribe a Pedi-Cab to take us back to the hotel. This time round I was injured (managed to avoid being ill) and was determined not to experience the same miserable depths of last time. So I wore a tutu. And Lidocaine pads. And although there were some agonizing moments, I made it relatively unscathed, and did indeed have way more fun than before. Maybe I’m just destined to enjoy myself from the back of the pack. I think I’m ok with that. I finished the day off eating pizza and drinking Coca Cola in the bath. Pretty close to bliss.

Here are a couple of observations from the back of the pack:

– Venezuelan spectators wear the craziest foam things on their heads

– Race walkers have really nice bums

– Europeans don’t mind shoving and pushing. In fact it’s a requirement if you’re European.

– Italian people talk to you even if you don’t understand them

– Not enough men wear deodorant

– If you see something while you’re running a marathon, like a South African amputee running, and you start to cry, don’t. Because then you can’t breathe and you start to cough at lot

– If you sing out loud to the chorus of Freshlyground’s “Doo Bee Doo” while you’re running, people get a fright

– If you listen to Freshlyground’s “Doo Bee Doo” for 3 miles at the end of a marathon, you can almost forget the frightening cramp in your right buttock

– If you ululate while crossing the finish line of the New York Marathon, people get a fright

– When you run through the really “frum” (religious) Jewish neighborhood, they don’t seem to like it when you yell Baruch Hashem (Thank God)

– Can someone please explain why those women wear only one style of sheitel (wig) in the same mousy color?

– And why do all religious Jewish families dress their kids in matching coats? Generally brown with pink piping.

– People really like banging on their kitchen utensils

– tutus should be mandatory

– A Canadian lady asked me if I was still up from last night’s Halloween celebrations

– I told her to go back to where she came from

– If you have man boobs, don’t take your shirt off

– It’s lonely running a marathon without a support team. I kept having to pretend that other people’s families were mine

– God bless the lidocaine pads!

Comments

  1. bee says:

    Brilliant! LOL!