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Guilt Laden

by fancypants, June 25, 2014

guiltThe guilt trip. Not a journey I particularly like taking. Let’s talk about guilt. There is no pleasure in guilt. There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure. Guilt is an evil menace. Guilt drives us to do things we don’t want to, shouldn’t do and shouldn’t have to do. And most of the time? It’s self-imposed. I should cook dinner for my family. Why? Because I feel guilty. Not because I want to. Nor do I actually need to. We are fortunate to have someone taking care of meals, yet I feel guilty. I shouldn’t go out surfing because I should be cooking. And I should be cooking because of guilt. And then my food tastes resentful and guilt laden globs of displeasure land on my kids’ plates. It’s this violation of some moral┬ástandard that I’ve created and I’m allowing it to govern so many facets of my life: home, work, friend. I “should be”. Such weak words.

So how do we rid ourselves of guilt? How many more confirmations from my husband or kids do I need? How many assurances and nods of envy do I need from other parents? It’s a hard one to shake. And it stops me from embracing my happy sometimes. Out damn guilt!