I’m still in this weird place with Max. We’re trying a method where as soon as he cries, we hold out our hand and say “stop” and then “start again”. Now he says, “Stop saying that. It makes it worse”. This is the difficulty: he knows what we’re up to. The kid has an IQ that places him in the 99th percentile. His verbal IQ is 99.5%. He’s probably smarter than all of us combined. So how do we outsmart the smart kid?

Yeah, no answers here.

Yesterday I yelled at him, yet again. Parenting in the way I don’t want to. Dealing with behavior that I don’t want. And then I got childish and frustrated and threw his reading file across the room. Just not that kind of behavior that I want to display. But he had made me a deal, and I succumbed and after the allotted 20 minutes of play on MY iPad, he had a complete meltdown because it was time to practice reading. And how do you tell a hysterical 6 year old that he had broken his promise and make him see the impact of this?

And later on, after the crying and the yelling (me) and the whimpering (caused by me), I was suddenly struck by a pang of fear: what if this was going to end up in a really bad place, with Max chronically depressed, and me the person who got him there? And my heart nearly broke with the fear. And as this little boy sat next to me and read, giggling and smiling, and trying to make me happy, all I felt was sad, sad and bad. There has got to be a better way to get through to him and I wish to God that someone could give me a secret clue as to how.