There’s a reason I want to be famous

Not so that I can get backstage passes to the Rolling Stones

Or have tea with Jason Mraz

Or have dinner in the same restaurant as Cindy Crawford

And have her think, “Hey, don’t I know that girl?

There’s a reason I want to be famous

Not so that two a penny salesgirls can kiss my behind

So that I’ll consider the latest Chloe handbag

Or butt hugging pair of Seven Jeans

Or glasses of champagne offered through the fitting room door

Once they realize that my American Express card has no limit

There’s a reason I want to be famous

Not so that a long black stretch limousine is par for the course

And that I’m never asked to pay for the booze inside

Or that the driver circles the block

While I run into McDonalds

Barefoot

To use the restroom

There’s a reason I want to be famous

Not so that I can throw cell phones at my assistant’s head

Or have the paparazzi waiting when my forty seven minutes of jail time is up

Or be featured on a celebrity show to make me more famous when just a little famous wasn’t quite enough

There’s a reason I want to be famous

TMZ. It’s as simple as that.