Milan and I have always been kinda tight. Ok, he’s a mommy’s boy through and through. Funnily enough, he didn’t start out that way, but when he was about 14 months old we took a trip to South Africa and he and I bonded in a big, big way. And so mommy has to brush his teeth, and he’s been known to mutter that he hates Daddy, and I’m very keenly aware of the fact that he thinks that if he loves anyone else, he can’t love me quite as much as he does.

But over the past 3 weeks, someone has taken my baby boy and replaced him with a snarling, growling child, who sometimes makes hissing noises at me like a wild cat. I’ve three times had to ask him not to show his penis to people in public, and he has taken to squeezing all of our butts. Hard. Today he told me that he doesn’t love me, and his favorite song is a little ditty he made up called “Stinky Butt”. Charming.

The thing is. I get it. School ended, and along with it so did his naps. He’s in a bunch of different summer camps with kids he doesn’t know. And worst of all, I’m stressed (yes I am, sorry about the previous blog saying I’m not) and he can sense every second of it. And we’re moving – although thankfully he has said that he believe drivers are better in San Diego and don’t won’t have to yell, “Come on Old Lady” quite as much.

He’s driving everyone insane, and I wish I knew what could help. But in this case, I think it’s just a matter of biding our time, and protecting our butts.